Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
