so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
