But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
