Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
