I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
