You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
