We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
