Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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