she was so not down for the gang bang
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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