i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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