All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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