Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
