Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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