I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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