ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
