is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
