I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
What did we do last night that was yellow?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
