o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How does it feel to date your dad?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
