Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
