did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
