It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
