it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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