hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
