K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
