I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
