There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why do cheetos always look like penises
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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