Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
