i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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