the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize