either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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