Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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