He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
