We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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