please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
