she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize