you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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