True but thats because hes a fetus.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
