I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
