Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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