Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
this hospital has no fireball
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
