She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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