I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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