are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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