Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
