So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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