We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
