I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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