Little spoons don't ask big questions
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
