you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
