I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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