I could make wine with my vomit
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
