is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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