Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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