if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
