he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
