i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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