I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
