Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
