yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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