Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
